Ferate's 5: Figuring It Out, Light Motivation, & Dark Motivation. (015)

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What’s up everyone welcome back to Ferate’s 5! HUGE WEEK THIS WEEK. Only 96 days of 2023 which is pretty crazy to think about.

Russ is an incredible artist and human. He just dropped his most recent album Santiago, inspired by his own life story and the book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. My top songs are Adventure, Oasis, and Tunnel Vision, 3 big ones that Dirk played during my 100-mile ultra marathon I completed back in late August.

Russ is iconic for producing his own songs independently and putting out one song a week instead of the typical path of albums. The best part is when artists do drop albums they jump on podcasts for more long-form conversations.

Russ and his life lessons are the theme of this week’s Ferate 5. Here are two things that Russ shared that I can’t stop thinking about.

“I am just trying to figure it all out…”

How many times have you heard people say that? How many times have you mentioned you’re just trying to figure things out? What to do next? What path are you on?

There are seasons of trying to “figure out life”. Starting college as a freshman, graduating senior, done being a collegiate student-athlete, the mid-20s getting your first REAL job, or maybe you’re 30-something feeling like you have to lock down a career/house/family, etc

Should I stop doing X and settle down to do Y and Z? Those decisions start to feel big. Like the biggest ones of your life.

The real question is, what does it mean to figure it out? Let’s be honest here people are all trying to do it, but we haven’t defined what it is yet.

In this recent podcast with Zane Lowe, Russ dives into his mindset over his career and to the present day. The first quote that hit me was…

What does having it all figured out mean to Russ? That would have been my next question.

This just makes me ask more questions of myself. When I feel the need to have “it all figured out” what does that even mean to me?

It is something that all of us can relate to but how many people define what it means to them? I have two versions of figure it out in my life that I notice right now. The good and the bad.

The good has been roughly defined. Figuring out what it is a truly want to want. Having HIGH AGENCY and making decisions for myself. Instead of sliding into people-pleasing. Life is about making decisions about what I want to want, outside of external influence. Figuring it out is testing what I truly want to want, what I enjoy, and defining/becoming who I want to be.

The bad is the attempt to detach and create space from the question. I will get tough questions about life, like my 10-year plan or what am I doing with XYZ. At times I will answer “Ah yeah, I gotta figure that out.” That is my way of saying I don’t have a clear answer, this is hard, probably don’t have a clear plan, need to face it head-on, and have some tough conversation soon. The best part is I have noticed this and worked to stop doing this.

Less “Ah yeah, I gotta figure that out” and more bias toward action. Taking action is identifying what “it” is in detail and doing something about it.

Dark Motivation vs. Light Motivation.

The second lesson Russ dropped was the dark motivation or light motivation. Specifically, in the arena of shame. We can win either way through dark and light motivation but one is sustainable and one is not.

Dark motivation is shaming yourself into victory.

Russ said “You fat fuck, you need to lose 30 lbs. Lost 30 lbs and still didn’t feel good about myself. Because when you shame yourself into victory, you win and it feels like you lost.”

Light motivation is being compassionate towards yourself and clear with your purpose. Losing shame as the driver and playing more long-term games with the good stuff. Small wins, building up streaks, defining your daily deposits, and the biggest one proving yourself right.

It’s the difference between proving people wrong and proving yourself right. The fire of proving people wrong is a good starting point but isn’t sustainable. Proving yourself right isn’t the biggest spark at the start but it can be a long powerful slow burn.

This reminded me of moments in college when I first started performance coaching as an intern. I really thought people didn’t think I could coach and I was going to show them that I could. Not fitting the typical mold of being previous student-athlete, I still believed I could become a great coach. I realized within two years of interning at Washington State University, Kentucky, and Iowa that proving people wrong didn’t really get me anywhere. First, people I was trying to prove wrong also didn’t really care that much in the grand sheme of things. Second, It was more about proving the people who truly believed in me and proving myself right. That was my light motivation.

I remember being told I was too short, my deep voice made me sound dumb, and I had a fake positivity like a WWF wrestler. I still remember those things but they aren’t the driver, the driver is that I knew I could coach at the collegiate level and impact college student-athletes to become the best version of themselves. Help them discover who they truly want to become.

Coming back full circle we figure life out and better understand/define the “it” part by living our life to the fullest through experience, personal growth, and being a service to others. Clarity comes from having a bias towards action, reflection, and deep meaningful connection.

Having light motivation in our pursuits of experience, personal growth, and impacting others puts us in a position to play more long term games. When you drop shame as the driver and you win, then you really do you feel like you won.

Let me know if you connected with either of these lessons from Russ this week or what you want to hear more about specifically! Thank you for reading, your energy, and most of all of your support!

Best day of the year, until tomorrow.

Ferate