Ferate's 5: Who Is Your Hero & A Coaching Call With Your 85 Year Old Self. (012)

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Matthew McConaughey’s Three Questions & Hormozi’s Solomon Paradox

What’s up everyone! Welcome to August’s first Ferate 5. Where you get insight into things I am curious about and can’t stop thinking about in 5 minutes or less.

One of my favorite things in the world is when people send me things they are curious about, challenge them to think differently, thought-provoking questions, and content they think I will discover value in.

Value value value. Goes back to the question are you trying to provide a service or deliver value? Delivering value is all about improving your “taste” for great content. Pull the trigger. Only takes a few moments to send valuable content to impact someone’s day.

McConaughey’s 2014 Oscars Speech

Matthew McConaughey said that each day he needs three things in his 2014 best actor speech at the Oscars. Those three things were…

1. Someone to look up to.

2. Someone or something to look forward to.

3. Someone or something to chase.

He answered with god being someone to look up to, his family being who and what he looks forward to each day, and the person he chases is his hero. He shared the story that when he was 15 someone asked him who his hero was. After some thought and reflection, he answered, “It’s me 10 years from now.”

Then it was his 25-year-old self. When he turned 25 his hero to chase each day was himself 10 years ahead of him. He explains he may never perfectly get to where his hero version is but he will continue to chase that version of himself.

So, each day who do you look up to? Who and what do you look forward to? And who or what are you chasing (Hero)?

Here is how I am thinking about these questions right now (August 2023). Let me know how you would answer these. Would love to read the replies and responses.

Look up to…

• I look up to my dad every day. His life story is incredible and is a daily reminder of what qualities I possess, what he passed down to me, and what he has taught me so that I have the chance to do things even better than I thought was possible. It has been fun to continue to learn things about him and his life experiences. For example, I can’t imagine getting drafted into the military, especially during Vietnam. That concept is so distant from this present moment. Or even building my own entire 3 bed/2 bath house with my own hands in the 80s, so freaking cool. I remind myself often that I can do difficult things because I come from a person who has become better and better because of challenges & obstacles he’s faced. Love ya pops.

• Introjection is part 2 to this answer (shout out Billy Oppenheimer). Short and sweet it is identifying specific attributes of people you look up to. Reminding yourself of the attributes often and then trying to live them out in your life. Over time you absorb those qualities of the people you admire by keeping them top of mind and locked & loaded to practice.

Look forward to…

• Exploring my curiosity every single day. Optimism and my natural curiosity is my competitive advantage. Being curious is an act of courage that I look forward to leaning into every single day, every single moment. The second thing I look forward to every day is investing in connection and my health. Connection is not only with other people but making time to connect with myself. Investments in my health start with my commitment to a daily deposit. Minimum 30 minutes every single day.

Someone to chase…

• the best version of myself, asking and answering questions through my actions. Love the hero idea of myself 10 years ahead. My two first thoughts were my 40-year-old self (my personal decade of excellence challenge) and having a conversation with my 85-year-old self (rocking chair moments).

• Through action answering these questions…

  • What do I want to want?

  • What experiences, growth, and contribution do I want to have?

  • Am I running toward what I TRULY want? or just running away from what I don’t want?

Solomon Paradox Danny Miranda Podcast Featuring Alex Hormozi.

Recently heard this lesson on the Danny Miranda Podcast and think it is too good not to share. King Solomon was one of the richest & wisest men of all time. The paradox is that while giving incredible advice to others, his life was in ruins.

Hormozi shared the lesson that typically we give better advice to others compared to advice to ourselves. Hormozi’s practice to not get stuck in this situation.

1. Blocking off time for a personal coaching session & conversation with yourself.

2. Type up the issues and problems you are working through.

3. Have dialogue & answer them from the perspective of your 85-year-old self. Go back and forth.

4. No one knows you better or understands the context of the situation better than you.

This process can help you detach and give yourself better guidance without falling into the Solomon Paradox trap. We have all been there, being able to give great guidance to our friends and it feels much more difficult to take our own advice.

Something I have started to practice. Just setting a 15-minute timer and typing out the conversation back and forth. Between present-day Ferate and my 85-year-old version of myself. Detaching and viewing things from the 3rd person can improve your perspective.

Jay Yang has an awesome newsletter and just shared a thread on twitter on this same concept. Check it out here.

Best Day of the Year, Until Tomorrow…

Ferate