Ferate's Five: Choosing Our Regrets, Mentors Being Overrated, & What The Hell Moments.

What’s up everyone we are back for round two of Ferate’s 5. Shout out to everyone who reached out over the past week about the update to the newsletter & the new subscribers!

My biggest goals are consistency in the day it gets sent out and forcing myself to consolidate all the information into 5 things. The main thing is to distill lessons and deliver value to you! Not just list 100 things that I am trying to learn.

My First Million shared a lesson recently which might be the bonus 6th lesson for the newsletter this week. It’s called a gentlemen’s agreement, basically I provide you 5 impactful lessons that you can use going into this next week for free, and return all you do is subscribe with your email to this newsletter. Simple and free for you with big returns for Ferate 5 to keep growing.

Here we go let’s get it. One of my all-time favorites batting lead-off.

“In life, we must choose our regrets.” - Douglas Murray

This first lesson is something I’ve leaned on a lot and has come up a lot in some conversations with student-athletes trying to figure out what they are doing after graduation.

I learned this from one of my favorite podcasters Chris Williamson. He has shared the story of Douglas Murray telling Christopher Hitchens, “In life, we must choose our regrets.”

We all have heard YOLO (you only live once) or people idolizing others who live with no regrets. Take a moment to think about that though… Having no regrets is pretty damn hard. I can think of several times I had to make a tough choice between two great options. I mean deciding on tacos or burritos comes to mind. Or deciding to stay at the University of Portland or move to Germany for a military strength & conditioning job.

Chris Williamson shares this excellent point. Society pressures us to think if we have a regret we more than likely made the wrong choice. The key is regrets are not a bug but a feature of life.

You are liberated in the decision-making process by knowing you are going to regret some things in your life. That’s fine. It is a fact. Instead of wondering which decision is the best, ask yourself which regret you can live with and which you cannot.

You are going to regret things. Choose which ones and choose wisely.

Tim Ferriss & Jerry Seinfeld On Writing.

God, I loved this. When creating art, be great in your eyes first. Take 24 hrs to enjoy what you have created. We all get that inner critic of “oh man I hope people resonate with this” or “Ahhhhh I think is a good one” Be compassionate throughout the creation process, then you can come back and reduce it to what is essential.

It feels good when people love your art but don’t let their emotions impact your ability to create. Jerry Seinfeld related the writing process to why you don’t tell someone what you are going to name your baby. That random feedback immediately after that changes how you feel about the commitment to create. Gain space to have a better perspective, with time you get to walk around all day with a little pep in step and smile in your back pocket knowing “I freaking did that today!”

The win is in the work.

The win is in the work.

The win is in the work.

My First Million - Mentors are often overrated, and peers are often underrated.

This one hits deep when you really sit with it. I know it did for me. Shaan explained such an important point that in life

Searching for that one person who “knows everything” and could teach you all the “right things to do.” I know I fell into this trap. In collegiate strength and conditioning coming up as an intern and graduate assistant, I can look back to see moments when I was searching for someone who could just teach me what was “right”.

Even in writing this out now it makes me reflect on the true path is that nothing is “right” but there are principles that lead you towards methods that may be effective for your specific situation or problem you are trying to solve.

Discovering those principles comes from peers.

Peers are the ones who are in the arena and the game with you. People that are a little behind or a little ahead of you. Working on similar projects, having similar visions, and doing the work. Creating a consistent peer group where you can be challenged & vulnerable.

Shaan had such a great point from the perspective of a founder. What do you say to your Investors, customers, & employees? You have to tell them that everything is on the up and up and up and how great everything is. You don’t ask them for guidance on how to fire someone or when you are struggling as a founder.

Create moments where you can grow & be vulnerable with intellectual sparring partners. Where you stop treading water on the surface and dive deep into deep long-lasting meaningful relationships.

Makes life more fun.

WTF, how did I not know this list?

Okay, let’s go! This one is quick. Recently been driving in silence or going walks around my neighborhood to think about this one. How can I have more “what the hell how did I not know this” moments as soon as possible? What is the list of all the shit that I am going to say wait what?!? How did I not know that?

Okay got it. That list is out there. How can I discover & experience it ASAP!

Learn, read, experience more, ask great questions, connect, have relentless curiosity, and just keep living. Seriously when is the last time you felt this feeling of “what!?! are you serious??? how did I not know this?

For me recently it was logging my mileage for a tax write-off and high-yield savings accounts. Nothing too crazy but enough to make me stop. Why the hell is all my savings just sitting in Bank of America at .01% interest compared to 4% out there with FDIC insurance. How did I not know about this?

Think I live for those moments. It is the universe winking at you and letting you know you’re learning.

Zeal.

Okay first off, I pretty sure that quote just summarizes everything I am about to say.

Have you ever had that burning feeling when you see someone doing something amazing? Not jealously but that burning feeling of admiration paired up with that inner chatter of “dude you could do that too”.

Well shit maybe this one is just for me, but I feel this so deeply. Admiration for something great and at the same time that internal nudge. Guess I got a name for it now.

Zeal comes from the Greek word Zeto, which means to boil. The Greeks saw it as a positive thing. That burning feeling of admiration for others’ attributes.

Ben Wilson & Alex Petkas from the Cost of Glory Podcast share this powerful lesson at the 17 minute timestamp. I can’t even come close to explaining it better than they did on this podcast. This is one of those insane moments when you discover a word to describe something I have felt so many times.

Thanks for checking out this week’s Ferate 5. If you loved the framework or the change in my newsletter please reach out to let me know what you enjoyed, why, and anyways I can improve. Shout out to all the people who reached out last week! You’re legends!

Keep Going. Keep making every day, the best day of the year until tomorrow…

Ferate